Old School

35 years ago, this was NEW school.

One of the nurses here on night shift is an endurance freak.  He did the Colorado Trail Race on bike before there was ever a race.  No mail drops.  No fan fare.  Just him and his bike.  His list of accomplishments is lengthy, and he plans to set the record for the Grand Canyon Quad next fall (rim to rim to rim to rim to rim).  The current record is around 22 hours, which is apprently “soft”.    But none of those conquests even begins to approximate the fact that he can pull off this look.  Alas, the long flowing locks from the photo have now been shorn.  And the wool ensemble with leather chamois have given way to lycra and spandex.  Fortunately, Alchemist is resurrecting the old school wool, but without the itch.  As for the Peugeot styling, I’m thinking we may do a limited run of those in new school fabric.  Keep an eye out.

 

The Pannus, The CREEPER, and Cycling Kit Sale

The CREEPER

Another night shift, another blog post.  I spend most of my time and energy trying to avoid looking at the clock. As the old adage goes, a watched pot never boils.

The average age in the ER tonight is 18.  Not our usual geriatric clinic, but our usual vague symptoms with no diagnosis to be had.   What’s with the youth these days?   It’s Saturday night, the feelin’s right, and half the population between 15 and 30 chose to visit the ER tonight instead of raving or drinking or huffing or whatever young people do on Saturday nights.

Buuuut, I do have a straight forward case.  Sort of.  First, I need to preface this with a glossary of terms:

Pannus: The apron of loose skin, tissue and fat that occurs in the lower portion of the abdominal wall
Suprapubic Catheter: A suprapubic catheter (tube) drains urine from your bladder. Rather than being inserted through the urethra, it is inserted into your bladder through a small hole in your belly.

Young lady had her suprapubic catheter cut while her boyfriend was changing her dressing (Why she has a catheter is beyond the scope of this blog).   She came in leaking urine from the lacerated catheter. Simple enough. Pull the old one, put in a new one, right? But I was forewarned that I had to measure the depth of insertion beforehand because it needed to go through about 12 inches of pannus. Turned out to be easy enough by comparing the spot from the old catheter and marking it on the new one. There was a little resistance, but a little lube fixed that. She was actually my easiest and most pleasant patient of the night.
Praise Allah for easy fixes!

In between saving the future of America from the ills of minor discomfort, The Creeper was brought to my attention. As one the nurses aptly stated, “So they do have a name for that thing you do.”  Yes, folks.  I’ve put this on my list of dances to master, along with the dances from Napolean Dynamite, Can’t Buy Me Love, and Thriller.  I’m breaking it out at the next wedding.  If that animated GIF at the top bothers you, you should stop looking at it.

Before you watch the video, you should know that Alchemist is offering a screamin’ deal on custom cycling kits and merino wool.  Good til the end of February.

Whatta Man and NAHBS

At what point in a marriage does all that lusty exuberance lose it’s luster?  Fella came to the ER in the middle of the night for belly pain.  The pain is in the left upper part of his belly, which is like a wasteland for definable diagnoses.   Nothing really surgically bad happens up there, unless you rupture your spleen, which doesn’t usually happen spontaneously.  In the end, I usually throw a delicious beverage known as a GI Cocktail at these folks, and sometimes run some labs for show.  As I was pressing on his rotundness, his wife and 1 year old came trudging in, foggy-eyed and bloodshot.  Dude, really?  You couldn’t have come in on your own?  In all your valiant maleness, you drug in the wife and baby?  He wasn’t here to impress, clearly.

Of course, this all coming from the the romantic, who for the most part, forgot what holiday came to pass a couple days ago.  Let he who hath not lost all chivalry cast the first stone.

Next week, Claire and Hannah are headed to the North American Handmade Bike Show (NAHBS) in Austin, TX.   Booth #405.  Check out the exhibitor list .   We got top billing! (because they are listed in alphabetical order).

Sale ON! 40% off Wool Jerseys

Alchemist Merino Wool Cycling Jersey

Until the end of February, pre-order our classic Merino Wool Jersey and receive 40% off the retail price.  100% Aussie Merino Wool.  100% kick-ass.

On sale for $96.

Back to $160 after that, ya lazy bums.

Want to customize it?  Contact Claire at Claire@AlchemistThreadworks.com.

The Best Superbowl Commercial . . . of all time

Back in the blog saddle.  The fam spent a warm “business” vacation in sunny San Diego.   Had an ER conference to attend.  I go so that I can be force fed all the latest information that I can’t find the stomach to ingest while at home.  But like my under-sized 3 year old, I turned my head and ran from the incoming spoon full of life-giving sustenance.  Instead of listening to the latest medical literature on “Hypothermic Therapy after Spontaneous Return of Circulation” or “Malignancy Related Electrolyte Emergencies”, I spent much of the time in the kiddie pool or ogling the large mammals at the Zoo and Wild Animal Park.

So along that vein, in a rare Monday afternoon shift moment of peace, I found the best Superbowl commercial . . . of all time.  But before you enjoy it, make note, we’ll be offering a limited time super sale on the wool jerseys in the next couple weeks. So stay tuned.